With divorce at an all-time high, some good news about marriage has arrived! This new study, conducted by the National Bureau of Economic Research, shows that marriage (especially to your best friend) can make your life happier. In our Atlanta family law practice, we think that’s something to celebrate!

Conducted mostly using data from the United Kingdom, the study says that people who are married are “more satisfied” with their lives than their single counterparts. The researchers says that the happiness is magnified especially during the “mid-life dip” when some couples are known to begin to struggle with issues such as career satisfaction, relationships and health.

The study also explores “friendship as a mechanism” and how marriage to someone who started out as a friend could experience benefits of marriage “twice as large” than those who married someone that they met and began a romantic relationship with to start with.

A Gallup World Poll was also used to “show that although the overall well-being effects of marriage appear to vary across cultural contexts, marriage eases the middle-age dip in life evaluations for all regions except Sub-Saharan Africa.” No explanation was given for why this region didn’t share the same results as their global counterparts.

Bottom line? Marry your best friend and reap the benefits!

Arriving at the decision to end a marriage is never easy. As divorce attorneys, we often see people in our Atlanta practice who know they want to end their marriage but may not have thought out some of the most important things to consider before they file. As a service, we offer our top 5 things to consider when you are contemplating a divorce:

1. What are your goals regarding child custody and parenting of your children?

In addition to a consistent parenting plan with similar expectations of behavior for the child (as well as consequences for misbehavior), parents should think about what they want for their children and devise a plan to get there. A “road map” will keep both parents focused on the big picture. Joint custody is increasingly popular and in our Atlanta area (as is the cast with many other metropolitan areas) so the parents need to stay on the same page in order to provide consistency and stability for their children. For more help deciding child custody issues, check out this child custody in Atlanta article.

2. What are your financial goals regarding division of assets, debt and possibly alimony?

We often see people who have allowed their partners to be solely responsible for all aspects of financial management and really have no idea of assets or debts. When this happens, the person who isn’t involved with finances is in a less powerful position when it is time to negotiate settlements. If you are considering a divorce, acquaint yourself with your financial status and think about what it will take for you to live on your own.

3. What steps might you need to take to protect yourself physically from an abusive spouse?

Sometimes, a spouse is physically abusive and uses threats or physical harm to control the other person. Divorce adds a new layer of emotional strain and can cause frustration and volatility. If this happens, do you have a safe place where you (and your children) can go to stay safe? Do you have some emergency cash? Have you checked out emergency shelters and know how to get to them? Are you ready to file for emergency protections with a court? Have a plan in place and be ready to follow through in the event of danger. Need help?  Check out the resource list at the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

4. What support system do you have to assist you during this journey?

Despite our best efforts to have an amicable divorce, it can be very emotionally draining. Having healthy relationships with family and friends is a great way to ensure that you have a functioning support system. There are also divorce support groups, both online and in person, to help you transition through this season of your life.

5. What career goals to you have?

When someone has been financially dependent on their spouse, they need to consider what type of career they will have in order to support themselves after a divorce. Often times, this career will require some type of training, certification or degree. Carefully consider your goals and the steps you need to take in order to achieve these goals.

Our Atlanta family law practice understands that divorce is never easy. With these 5 things in mind, carefully consider your options and then call us. Our attorneys are here to help you come up with your own plan. We will work hard to advise you to ensure that you can move to the next chapter of your life with a minimum amount of stress and strife.

As Atlanta divorce lawyers, we handle a variety of divorce cases each year. The reasons are as varied as the types of clients we see, but there are a few main categories that seem to be more common than others. Because we have a family law practice, we thought it might be helpful to examine some of these causes in an upcoming blog series about causes of divorce. We decided to start with infidelity.

According to this study published by the Journal of Family Issues, the leading cause of divorce was infidelity (at a whopping 21.6 %). That was followed by incompatibility (19.2%) and addiction (10.6%). However, some are now challenging the idea that infidelity is as common in marriages as people have been led to believe in the past, a number that many put at nearly 50 percent.
In an article published on PsychCentral.com, psychologist Dr. John M. Grohol proposes that infidelity numbers have been artificially inflated. He said that the statistics are “not based upon any scientific research. It’s something marketing companies just made up and use to scare (or motivate) people into buying into their service.”

Dr. Grohol cites several research studies to conclude that “the actual likelihood of your relationship suffering from cheating is low — probably less than a 6 percent chance.” He goes on to say that “over the course of your entire relationship, the chances of infidelity may rise to as much as 25 percent. Twenty-five percent — over the course of an entire relationship — is a far cry from the 50 percent number we hear from many so-called professionals and services trying to sell you something.”

Dr. Grohol suggests that the factors that add the most risk of infidelity to a marriage are unresolved problems in the marriage, a “significant difference in sex drive between the two partners” and one of the partners having been sexually abused as a child, among other risk factors.

We may never know the true numbers because cheating, by its very nature, is a hidden thing. However, if infidelity has entered your marriage and the trust is irreparably broken and you can’t move forward, our Atlanta divorce lawyers are here to help you through the divorce process.

Jeff Cleghorn’s Family Law Insights

The client-focused Family Law team at Kitchens New Cleghorn, LLC. includes Jeff Cleghorn.

As partner and head of the Family Law Practice at Kitchens New Cleghorn, LLC., I always get asked the sort of questions no one likes to think about, unless they have to think about them.

Child Custody

Child custody is often the most important (and highest intensity) issue for a separating couple. Even if parents agree on which parent should have primary physical custody of the children, they may disagree vehemently on how to arrange the parenting schedule. If the parents are unable to reach an agreement on custody, then it is left to the judge to decide. But how does the judge make that decision?

In Georgia

In Georgia, the decision of awarding child custody is based on the best interest of the children. Bodne v. Bodne, 277 Ga. 445 (2003). The court weighs a variety of factors in determining what is in the children’s best interest. One important factor is history of parenting roles. For example, if one parent was predominantly responsible for day to day child care, while the other parent did relatively little, then the court may decide that it is in the children’s best interest to live with the historic caretaker. Another factor that the court may consider is the work schedule of both parents. For example, if one parent has a set 9-5 schedule while the other works 60 hours a week and travels, it may be in the children’s best interest to live primarily with the parent who is home more often, or otherwise offers a more stable schedule. Yet another factor that a judge could consider is the health (both physical and mental) and stability of each parent.

Same Sex Parenting

Child custody standards are the same for separating same sex parents and unmarried opposite-sex parents as they are for divorcing parents. In all of the above scenarios, the judge will determine custody based on the children’s best interest.

One other important factor for same sex parents is that a parent must be considered the legal parent of a child in order to be awarded custody. What this means is that a parent must either be the biological parent of his or her child, or have adopted that child. If, for example, one parent in a same sex couple had a biological child, and the other parent never adopted that child, then the non-biological parent could not be awarded custody.

Want More Info?

Check out our family law infocenter for answers to all of your divorce questions. Still need help? Contact our Atlanta Divorce Attorneys.

Divorce can be a difficult time for everyone involved, but especially for children of all ages. Many children naturally believe that divorce has something to do with an issue they caused, an argument they had or even the time they made one of their parents angry – though that is rarely the case at all. These types of issues can be carried by a child for the rest of their lives, well into adulthood and beyond. By understanding the effects of divorce on children you can better understand the importance of proceeding with caution throughout these times, especially if you have young children in your house.

The Effects of Divorce on Boys

One factor that many people don’t consider is how young boys react to divorce. In a typical divorce proceeding, the wife has a higher chance of being awarded sole custody than the father does. As the father would no longer be living in the same home as the young boy, they would lack a male role model on a daily basis. The absence of that male role model can make it exceedingly difficult for certain young male kids to adjust to divorce at all.

The effects of divorce on children are not necessarily seen immediately. A study in a 2013 issue of the magazine Public Health, for example, cited a study that was conducted at the University of Toronto that indicated that children of divorced families were significantly more likely to begin smoking when they reached adulthood that children who came from stable living situations.

Anxiety

Another one of the ways that divorce can affect children has to do with a build-up of anxiety and the snowball effect that occurs as a result. Children who come from divorced households are statistically more likely to suffer from anxiety and huge amounts of stress than others. As a result, these children are also more likely to fall behind in school in areas like math and on their social skills in general. The snowball effect occurs because many of the subjects the kids are more likely to fall behind on are cumulative. If a young child is doing poorly at rudimentary math early on because they’re stressed out from a divorce, they won’t have the skills required to keep up with their classmates as they advance through grades.

Short Term Effects of Divorce on Children

Not all of the effects of divorce on children become issues in the long term, however. There are a wide variety of different negative attributes that many parents will start to notice immediately. Chief among them are an anger, sadness and general sense of depression that kids will often feel regardless of their age or gender. Likewise, many children feel a strong sense of opposition to authority of all types, impulsivity and even aggression in certain situations.

All of these types of issues compound into a general sense of non-compliance, where the child is constantly at odds with those around them.

Divorce is a very serious situation for everyone involved. It’s important that we remember just how much divorce can affect children, however, and help them cope in any way possible.